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Illustration by Catherine Soule. Come on, you know you've tried it. If you have a penis, a mouth, 15 spare minutes, and even an iota of curiosity, you've tried to see just how close you can get your face to that pesky little pecker you carry around in your pants.

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It was late one weekend evening. We'd been out drinking and dancing, and when we got home we barely got in the door before we were fucking like rabbits. Danny ate me out on the stairs to the second floor — he sat me down, spread my legs and pushed my panties aside before diving into my pussy.

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The top-secret trick to staying married is not getting divorced. You can thank me later for that little gem. And yet, that is somehow enough. I spent a lot of years trying to change Mac into more of what I had in mind.

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A tradition unlike any other? Photo by Mike Klemme. And listen.

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One evening I came home from the bar to find that my wife Barbara had a friend over and they were naked in the hot tube. Barbara introduced him and asked me to join them so I quickly took off my clothes and slid into the bubbling hot water with them. I was so taken by the sight that I couldn't look away.

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In some cases, guys eschew that anxiety by focusing entirely on their own pleasure, while others become overly, almost obsessively, attentive. Neither is a turn-on. These two sexual attitudes can actually look pretty similar in the sack.

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