That is, during adolescence, teenagers need to extend away from their parents, all the while staying connected to their parents. Their job is to extend; your job is to connect. In the United States, we often make a cultural presumption that teens and young adults who are close to their parents are less independent in their lives.
The teen years are fraught with conflicting feelings and thoughts as these almost-grown children head closer to adulthood. Parents are often left wondering what happened to their delightful kids who went from happy-go-lucky to moody, frustrated, conflict-ridden adolescents. KidsHealth from Nemours advises distinguishing the difference between emotion-driven adolescence and puberty, which is physiological.
Experts tell parents of teens, "Don't take their words or behavior personally. Not so much. We want a hug.
As parents, we want a strong relational bond with our teens. But sometimes, despite our good intentions, we can be doing the very things that destroy these relationships. So what are the primary culprits that break our connection with our kids? As parents, we want great things for our kids.
The relationship between children and their parents or caregivers such as guardians, aunts and uncles, or grandparents is one of the most important relationships in a child's life, often lasting well into adulthood. In adolescence, this relationship changes dramatically as youth seek increased independence from their families and begin to make their own decisions. With increased independence comes the possibility of increased risk, both positive and negative, and teens need parents or caregivers to help them navigate the challenges that adolescence presents.
As children grow up and reach their teenage years, this is usually when things take a turn for the worst. Arguments may be frequent, misunderstandings increase, and parents will begin to wonder what happened to the sweet child they used to play with. This is a concern commonly experienced and we want to help be a part of the solution.
I have never had a mom tell me, "I want my daughter to be perfect," or had a dad say, "I want to have absolute authority over my son. But I have heard hundreds of girls say, "My mom wants me to be perfect," and hundreds of young men have said to me, "My dad rules our home with an iron fist. As parents, we want a strong relational bond with our teens.
As parents, we are always trying to be the best we can be for our kids. Have a meal together, make a meal, take a walk, play a game, or make a list of things to do together. Mandy Silverman is a psychologist with the Child Mind Institute.
Most parents have some fears of the day their child will start dating. There are also things you can do to make dating easier for both of you. Talk to your teen about what a good relationship is.
The Oracle October 13, Filed under Centerfold. I know someone whose best friend is her mom——and not in the unfortunate way of Norman Bates. Yet years of reflection have led me to understand that few teenagers truly hate their mothers and fathers; they simply lose confidence in their parents over time.